9 Lesson Nine
Chapter Essential Questions
What written, verbal and interpersonal skills are required for a manager working in First Nation communities?
How can a strategic approach benefit communication?
Lesson 9: Resolving conflict
Outcomes
By the end of this lesson, you should be able to:
- Identify natural reactions to conflict and determine common reactions to conflict;
- Describe the most common causes of conflict in the workplace;
- Describe how to find the root cause of a conflict;
- Identify the right steps to prevent and resolve conflict;
- Identify ways that people deal with conflict, and when it’s best to use each approach;
- Describe the risks involved in getting trapped in high conflict (the Conflict Trap);
- Compare good and high conflict;
- Describe steps to mediate conflict between coworkers effectively;
- Describe steps to handle a confrontation with an angry or frustrated employee effectively;
- Define workplace bullying and discuss the steps that every manager should take when they become aware of it.
Common Reactions to Conflict
When we experience conflict at the office we normally have one of four reactions. These reactions are normal and are commonly reactive, instead of proactive to the situation. Flip the cards to find out the four common reactions.
- ‘Listen’ to the opposing view. Think about your thoughts and feelings before you respond verbally.
- Plan and write down what you are going to say.
- Stay calm, and do not get angry.
- If the opposer gets angry, walk away.
- Do not take it personally.
- Do not hold a grudge.
- Move on.
Common Causes of Conflict
The key to managing a conflict is first defining the conflict. This could be simple or complex depending on who is involved and the topic that is being discussed. Whether it is a disagreement over a new policy or a misunderstood email, the conflict needs to be identified and defined before it can be solved.
Conflict in the workplace could be the result of:
- poor management;
- unfair treatment;
- unclear job roles;
- inadequate training;
- poor communication;
- poor work environment;
- lack of equal opportunities;
- bullying and harassment;
- significant changes to products, organizational charts, appraisals or pay systems.
Root Cause of Conflict
Most people make the mistake of thinking that the conflict is about circumstances and not that the conflict stems from how people feel about the circumstances. Conflict is defined as “the differences in goals, aims, and values that can make it difficult to achieve an objective.”
Conflict is often centered on the feelings and goals related to the conflict rather than the conflict itself. Being able to define the conflict in terms of issues, while removing the emotions, is the first step in reducing conflict. It is also the first true step towards a resolution.
Preventing Conflict
Dealing with Conflict
Susan Raines[1] identifies five primary ways people can manage conflict in the workplace. She explains that these strategies need to be examined and reflected on before being putting into practice. It is also important to consider culture and family experiences as this can impact how the strategies are received. The five strategies are explained below:
The Conflict Trap
Everyday at work we have interactions that can lead to a conflict. It could be in the form of a disagreement or argument. However, when these conflicts are not dealt with or they are allowed to ‘fester’ and re-surface over time they can become a conflict trap. Our uneasiness and uncomfortableness can grow and lead us to interact with that person less and less – even ruining other relationships in the office. There a number of reasons that someone can become involved in a conflict trap. They can include:
- We’re not taught/know how to deal with conflict effectively.
- We view conflict as something that is bad or just a necessary evil we have to deal with each day.
- We want to solve it quickly and just be done with it versus take the time and effort to talk through it with the other person and figure out and resolve the root cause of the conflict.
- We don’t try or want to understand the other person’s point of view or beliefs in the conflict.
- We allow ourselves to become the middle person in the conflict between two people instead of getting them to talk directly to each other and work it out on their own.
- We want to have the tough conversation that we believe will help to resolve a conflict or help another person, but we fear how they will react, or if it won’t go well or it won’t come out perfect when you have the conversation.
High Conflict People
Have you ever met someone who seems to seek out or even enjoy conflict rather then trying to reduce or resolve it? The conflicts seem to happen over and over again in many different situations with different people. The issue is not the conflict itself but rather the high-conflict personality who seeks out conflict. High conflict people, or HCP, often exhibit behavior such as:
- Blaming others;
- All-or-nothing thinking;
- Unmanaged or unpredictable emotions;
- Extreme behavior’s.
When working with a HCP you want to try and reduce the number of people involved in the interactions. You can focus on a few strategies such as connecting with them, analyzing your realistic options, responding to misinformation and setting limits to decide on how to move forward.
Mediating Conflict
Mediating a conflict can take time and starts with active listening. As a mediator, you need to pay attention to both the issue(s) and the emotions/feelings of the people who are involved. It is more difficult to listen and understand when you are doing all the talking. As a mediator, here are some tips to help you resolve conflicts within your workplace:
- Clarify the Disagreement. Sometimes when we are working in a group, it can be easy to see arguments or disagreements that are not really there. A co-worker may just want to vent and then continue on and not think about the event again. One way to find out if there is a issue is to ask, “Is there something you’d like me to do or do you just want me to listen?”
- Do a Fact Check. Our own communication style can even create conflict. However, a misunderstanding can arise from faulty assumption or a misrepresentation of facts. Do a fact check and ask open questions that can help you ensure you have all the facts.
- What are the Needs of the People Involved. The problem you see on the surface may not be the real problem. For example, a co-worker who complains about the extra hours they are putting into a project could be expressing the lack of contribution from other people in the group. One way to tell if this is the real problem is to ask, “If this is solved, would everyone be satisfied?” If not, you need to keep probing.
- Search for Alternatives. People who see only one or two choices will often feel that they are backed into a corner. Get creative with the team and try to brainstorm numerous solutions – even silly ones – that will allow people to see multiple ways of solving a problem.
- Acknowledge the Bad Feelings. As a mediator, you may enter the disagreement once it has escalated. This means that feelings that could have been hurt need to be acknowledge and resolved before people can move towards a solution. Only when people feel respected will they want to take the step towards trust and building a solution.
Dealing with an Angry Co-Worker
- Start by noticing what’s good and then follow up with what could be worked on.
- Ask questions and try to find out why they are angry.
- Refer to guidelines and policies around confrontation.
- Make a clear statement about your involvement.
What is a Workplace Bully?
It is important to snub out workplace bullying as soon as it begins to happen or is reported. The Workplace Bullying Institute defines bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms: verbal abuse, offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating; or work interference – sabotage – which prevents work from getting done[2].”
Many managers are left wondering what they should be looking for when dealing with a workplace bully. Signs of a workplace bully can include:
- Repeated lying;
- Veiled or threats;
- Ignoring;
- Constantly justifying;
- Minimizing others feelings;
- Guilting others into work;
- Delaying or blocking work;
- Changing expectations;
- Criticizing;
- Taking or stealing credit.
How to Deal with a Bully
Even though you may have a workplace bully does not mean you have to be ok with their actions. Taking steps to reduce or prevent a bully are important positive steps.
Here are some ways you can take action against a bully:
Create a Policy – a clear policy protects employees and provides a clear guidelines on expected behavior in the office.
Create a Code of Conduct – An employee handbook is a great place for having a clear code of conduct and sets the tone for a professional environment.
Train Everyone – Training as many people as possible can help to make identifying unwelcome behaviour become a thing of the past.
Don’t Sweep Complaints Under the Rug – Treat each complain as serious and investigate it fairly and seriously.
Document – Document any behaviour that you hear about or witness incase you are called upon at a later date.
“While bullying behavior is often difficult to recognize, investigate and address, the tangible and intangible costs to the employer (e.g., financial, interpersonal, productivity) can be huge. And, left unaddressed, bullying concerns quickly can escalate. Employers need to aggressively reinforce and consistently enforce their codes of conduct and standards of professionalism through training; empowering and requiring supervisors to proactively identify issues; on site monitoring of behavior; and prompt and thorough investigations into allegations of bullying and other misconduct,” says Meg Matejkovic, Employment Attorney and ERC Trainer[3].
Journal Prompt
Using the forum labelled Course 5: Chapter 9 make a journal entry responding to the prompt below. Ensure that you title the entry Lesson 9. After writing a journal entry, go and make a comment on two other posts from your classmates. It can be about anything you noticed, liked, agreed with etc. The idea is to continue the dialogue about the topic.
Explain what you believe are the most important steps required for a successful mediation in the workplace when dealing with a bully. Share your thoughts.
Journal Entry Evaluation Rubric
|
Criteria |
Exemplary (4) |
Accomplished (3) |
Developing (2) |
Beginning (1) |
|
Purpose |
Strong voice and tone that clearly addresses the purpose for writing. |
Appropriate voice and tone. The purpose is largely clear. |
Attempts to use personal voice and tone. Somewhat addresses the intended purpose. |
Demonstrates limited awareness of use of voice and tone. Limited evidence of intended purpose. |
|
Understanding |
Many interesting, specific facts and ideas are included. |
Many facts and ideas are included. |
Some facts and ideas are included. |
Few facts and ideas are included. |
|
Conventions |
All grammar and spelling is correct. |
Only one or two grammar and spelling errors. |
A few grammar and spelling errors. |
Many grammar and spelling errors. |
|
Reply |
Made two significant contributions to the online forum. Highly supportive of others. |
Made one contribution to the online forum. Supported group members. |
Attempted to contribute to online forum but was vague and unclear in the writing. |
Minimally involved. Offered limited support to online group members. |
Admin. (n.d.). 20 subtle signs of bullying at work. erc. Retrieved May 4, 2023, from https://yourerc.com/blog/post/20-subtle-signs-of-workplace-bullying
Susan S. Raines, Conflict Management for Managers: Resolving Workplace, Client, and Policy Disputes (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2013), 5-32.
- Susan S. Raines, Conflict Management for Managers: Resolving Workplace, Client, and Policy Disputes (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2013), 5-32. ↵
- Admin. (n.d.). 20 subtle signs of bullying at work. erc. Retrieved May 4, 2023, from https://yourerc.com/blog/post/20-subtle-signs-of-workplace-bullying ↵
- Admin. (n.d.). 20 subtle signs of bullying at work. erc. Retrieved May 4, 2023, from https://yourerc.com/blog/post/20-subtle-signs-of-workplace-bullying ↵